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My left foot Day 11

I had a bit of a sneak preview yesterday. It's all looking pretty lovely.  Who would've thought I'd be getting excited over a foot! I had to go and have the dressing changed and was a little apprehensive as she peeled but the layers but once the last layer came off and my foot was exposed I nearly wept. It looked great. It looks like it's healed...and it's all nice and straight and pointing in the right direction.  I called in BH to have a look at the surgeons great handiwork and he peered over my shoulder squinting, exclaimed, "Is it supposed to look all gory and mutilated? I'd get the Frankenstein boot on quick if I were you. You don't want to scare the kids!"  He asked about the wire in the second toe and how they'd get it out...I stuck my fingers in my ears at that point and chanted "Lalalalalalalalala!" in case I heard the answer.  As I stopped I caught the tail end of BH saying "...suppose

My left foot... Day 1

I have a left foot. I think I've had it fixed although at the moment my eyes are not too clear and the brain still a bit fuzzy.  I had a lovely sleep, thank you very much but they woke me up to make sure I was still alive.  Did I ever tell you how much I like sleeping?  Anyway, I digress I've never been a fan of feet.  They look disgusting - on me anyway so for years I've hidden my left foot beneath various items of covered shoe-wear or socks.  Ski boots have been the best as they show no deformity. My shoes have generally been a size too large.  I often trip out of one as it's too big and embarrassingly end up bleating "Oohhh...there goes my shoe!" giggle, giggle! .  In my befuddled state I've posted a picture on Facebook of my left foot.  I didn't mean to, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  My foot is twice the size of the other one.  The sympathy trail was delightful.  People thought I'd had an accident.  I hadn't. I'd

Weird searches and rogue aupairs!

I check my stats and searches occasionally, just to see where they come from and to see how peeps end up here. Unfortunately, for the  few that probably end up here, probably turn off in disgust when they realise that this isn't a site for "sexy au-pairs" or "dustmen xxx porn" .  I mean...really?  Dustmen porn?  Where do they get the idea that dustmen even have a porn site? I've had searches for school gate porn, mummy porn, garden porn, nude au pairs... funnily enough au pair porn comes out tops!  All you guys out there really do get your rocks off on our au pairs don't you? It happens quite a lot and it makes me wonder what goes through peoples mind when searching for that particular content? Which reminds me of something that someone spoke to me about the other day.  We were all standing around at the school gate gossiping and someone asked how I found my aupair...in how I found her generally. Miriam has gone (weep, weep) but in her place we have

Giving up the weed...

I'm a terrible smoker. Well, not terrible as I'm really quite good at it. In fact I will go so far to say that I'm an expert. And I've loved it. I know, I know.  It's a disgusting habit which is ageing me faster than a fortnight in Spain, but I've loved it.  I've loved every minute of it.  But I know it's time to say goodbye, sayonara, Taraa! You see, we've had a bit of a scare. Bro has cancer.  The stark reality makes you realise life is short enough without poisoning myself and everyone around me.  I didn't make a pact with God...it didn't work before and anyway I'm not about to play the blackmail game.  "If you cure Bro, I'll give up smoking".  Nahhh, that isn't me. And I'm not pretending to do it for Bro.  I'm doing it for myself.  Bro is giving up too, which is a positive move. Maybe a bit like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted but who am I to criticise?   The cancer is about Bro.  The sm

My Rubbish Cleaner...

I have a cleaner.  Not a very good one, but she's ever so nice.  She took early retirement from her (real) job and thought "I'll do some cleaning.  It can't be that difficult...I do my own!" I probably should've gone and looked at her house before I said yes.  I can do my own but I'm not very good at it.  Anyway, like I said...she's not that good, but I wanted someone to come on a Friday to make it all nice for the weekend.  I wanted it all spick and span. I wanted to smell the polish as I came through the door and I wanted it to last until the next week. Obviously my expectations are too high.  She doesn't like my Dyson and doesn't like cleaning under the sofa...I have to do that. She doesn't like spiders (OK, I do) and I hate anyone squashing them so I go around the homestead trying to find the little critters in case she leaves! She won't pick up anything from the floor but will maneuver her vacuum around them.  But she's very

This is England - 2012 update.

Do you remember a post I made last year?  A post about a friends son who'd be attacked? Well, if you don't let me refresh your memory...or at least give you a point in the right direction. This is England - 2012  Did I tell you what happened next?  I know I didn't because it was important to keep that information to myself...just in case! I didn't tell you they caught the "perps" and I didn't follow up with a "what happened next" because "what happened next" meant that had this information been freely available it may have hindered any conviction and may have halted a process that needed to be seen through to it's conclusion. (In this day of modern technology it helps to be aware that it could be used against the very people you're trying to help and protect and I had no intention of that happening). At the time of the attack and for a few weeks after, we had no idea who the attackers may have been or why this unpr

Once in a lifetime....

We're heartbroken. I knew it was coming, but I didn't know when and I didn't know how.  Yesterday, we lost our beloved Chubba. Now I know he wasn't human, but we loved him...and he loved us and this makes it easy for me to say. The kids keep crying. BH wells up constantly, and me...well, I'm next to useless at the moment.  I know it'll pass.  I know we were lucky to have such a faithful friend.  I know we gave him a loving home, but I'll miss his head on my knee. I'll miss the feel of his soft head under my hands, his silky ears and his thumping tail.  I'll miss having to step over him at every turn, I'll miss the black dense hair on the floor, I'll miss walking peacefully with him. Chubba was that one of a kind dog.  The one you know that only comes along once in your lifetime.  That perfect fit. He gave love fiercely but never demanded. But I'll miss him. My special boy. My beautiful boy.

Order! Order!

I feel like I'm riding against the waves. The harder I push the further I fall behind and it's an awful long way to get past the foaming peaks...and my arms hurt!  Everything needs doing but my priority is to sit down, smoke a fag, and look out of the window at the blue sky....is it any wonder I'm being pushed closer to the shoreline? This morning I've been trying to sort out my google reader.  I have a zillion blogs to read and I'm trying to get them in some order.  The first few I've looked at haven't posted since 2009.  Do I un-subscribe or do I keep those little gems in my little gems folder? I know google reader is so passe but I reluctant to change, and anyway I have no idea what to replace it with or how to do it!  I'm loath to do anything that means I have to think and when I do...brain freeze! I really don't want to offend anyone. Considering I don't know any of them personally, it's all getting a little bit too deep for my liking

Beauty on a Budget - Home made bath preparations

I've had quite a few messages asking for more of my home-made preparations....who'd've thunk it! Apparently they're getting more hits than my titillating tales of the yuckymum homestead! Funny thing though, just as I was flicking through my books, out dropped a picture of Simon le Bon!  I did have a penchant for him for a while, but I had no idea I tore out paper cuttings of him. I'm pleased to say I outgrew him! Home-made Bath Preparations Grain Bath -  for rough skin 1/2 cup barley 1/2 cup rice 1/2 cup bran 3/4 litre of water Soak the grains for approx one hour, then simmer for 1 hour, Strain.   Use approx 2 cups for each bath. Mint Bath - to refresh 1 cup of pine needles (you can pick these up on your walks) 1 cup of peppermint leaves 2 drops of rosemary oil. Mix the dry ingredients. Add the oil and stir well.  Put into cheesecloth bags (or even a tied jay-cloth) and let it bob around in the water.  This should last for a few baths. Let me know how you

What about PMS or T - just don't f*@#ing ask!!

OK, so I haven't been around for a bit....sorry!   I've been uber busy organising life, and my little corner of me has suffered.  I've been lax and lazy. How I've missed my space! When stuff gets tough I tend to batten down the hatches and do a disappearing act.  I'm constantly berated for my lack of visibility (by my family), but it's the way I do it. I'm lucky, though. I don't suffer from depression. I don't suffer from that overwhelming sense of despair, and I don't have the feeling  of continual impending doom.  I suffer from anger.I suffer from irritation. And I suffer from compassion fatigue...and for a short time every month I become irrational. I cry. I'm angry and I blame the world, BH and the kids. A simple question or request becomes the most arduous of tasks.  I moan and groan about it and everyone wonders...for a short time...whether I'm completely bonkers. In short, I suffer from PMS or PMT or what ever the fcuk it'

Mummy Porn??!!!

Mummy porn or Fifty Shades of Shite?  It's never going to win the Pulitzer Prize (nor am I!), nor is a great work of literary fiction but it's the fastest selling book...ever!  Beyond Harry Potter and the DaVinci code this book has got our nation of women chattering, reading and debating. Fifty Shades of Grey has taken the nation by storm. Hmmmm...are we repressed or do we just like crap books?  To be honest I can't understand what the fuss is all about.  I know I'm going to get a slating here but after reading the first few chapters I've put it down and can't be bothered to pick it up again. Sam Brick ("godI'msobeautifuleveryonehatesme") is at it again but this time I kind of agree with her.   "Giving it this name of mummy porn, using this kind of safe, middle-class word, makes women think it's okay to read it." Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2167800/Samantha-Brick-slams-Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-This-Morning