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A tribute to someone I don't know

Last night I heard that someone had passed away. It was someone I didn't know, but it was someone I knew well. I'd meet up with her most nights. We'd shoot the breeze, she'd make me laugh. We thought we had all the time in the world. She'd fight with me to get the first round in. We'd never had that first round. I promised I'd buy us lunch. We thought it would be inevitable that we'd meet.  I'd laughed and said that she would probably hate me on sight. She said she probably would. We'd argue and spar, but we'd always leave each other on a witty note. I never took offence. She never took offence. We found the ridiculous funny, and we'd find compassion in tragedy. Her insults were a joy. My insults couldn't match hers. Her kindness and sensitivity when help was needed. She knew when to draw the line in the sand. She was unafraid and brave. She was a friend because she understood, never judged and was always there. She reached out

My Crazy Au-pairs.

Miriam, is slovenly and messy.  Her room is a pigsty, and she leaves a trail of cups and plates around the house.  No matter how many times I ask her to put them in the dishwasher she seems to think that they all disappear because the fairies spirit them away...well...I'm that fairy! I put up with it as I like her.  I've had au pairs since the boys were about 5.  I thought that would be a good age as they could tell me if the au pair was mean to them, locked them in cupboards or burnt them with fag ends. In the early days we had one called Ildi.  Ildi was older than the average au-pair (she was 28), and I found her on the the net.  She looked presentable and spoke very good English...and she had eyes that reminded me of my ma's dog.  Probably not a good reason to pick an au pair, but Oliver (the dog) was kind and sweet  so I thought perhaps she would be too. She worked for a family nearby and was leaving for "reason unknown".  I'd never thought to question t

Murder in the garden.

I'd never had Chubba down as a killer..he's too soft and floppy for one, but this morning the Finn and Bart came running in from the garden screaming. "Muummmmm"  Well, that's the usual cry, but this was wasn't the cry of "Mum, I've hurt myself" or "Mum, he's being nasty to me" or "I'm telling Mum" or "Mum, I'm just crying for the sake of it", this was a blood curdling scream of "Mum...I've seen something really bad and I don't want this stuck in my memory forever and tonight I'm going to have nightmares" type of scream.  The one where you know that whilst you want to run away yourself, as you're Mum, you have to deal with it.... head on. "What?" What?" What?" I shouted - I tend to shout when I'm freaking. They weren't actually saying anything as the rushed into the kitchen but grabbing at my clothes, and burying their heads in my legs. Miriam wa

Silent Sunday - 9 Oct 2011

And I thought I was "Just perfect"!!!

Just an observation really.  Since starting this blog, I've come to learn a lot about myself and my family. I'm often reflective and observing, but I've actually started to notice my bad points of which I thought there were none, pre blogging. I've always asked BH what he didn't like about me and he could come up with nothing...well nothing that is of value.  Where as I'd thought I was always perfect (oh yes I am!), I'm clearly lacking in some a lot of areas.  I'm now beginning to realise that he is less than truthful if only for an easy life...and as I've blundered through life I really should thank him. BH always points out my good points (you have lovely ears, you are a nice person, you are kind), and while that's lovely of him, it's not been terrifically helpful.  Recently, the kids have been telling me things about myself.  Kids are honest, kids are truthful, kids are cruel kids are mean....husbands are not! I suppose that's why I

Moving forward

After a tense couple of weeks (which I'll be honest-had me weeping buckets), we've come to an impasse with the Finn saga.  That's not to say it's an uncomfortable deadlock, and I have hopes that the bullying will come to a complete end and it won't affect Finn or his future in the way it has.  I think and hope it was something that happened last year, but now I'm aware, I can build my son up to be able to tackle it head on and give him back the confidence he's lost. Funnily enough, no one appears to have seen or heard any thing that may have contributed to the incidents, but I guess that's the way with insidious bullying...and because Finn put on a brave face and didn't complain no one really noticed. His new teacher is understanding (and she is fresh out of uni!) and is "up" on the ways to tackle incidents; pinpointing and recognising issues and dealing with issues without laying blame. I'm hoping subtlety will work so in the meantim

What about Bullying?

Now they're all back at school I was hoping life would be peaceful and uncomplicated. Each evening, when the kids come home from school we go through the usual. "What did you have for lunch?" "Something black" "What did you do in class?" "Something about war/drawing/got sent out." "What do you have for homework?" "Nothing." However, today it was a little bit different. I have no idea how we got onto the conversation but I think I asked Finn who he played with at break time. "No one",  he said "I just read my comic"  He wasn't moaning just stating a fact. "...then Tom, Robert and David came over and pulled the comic out of my hands and ripped it up." "Ooookaaay", I said carefully, "What did you do?" "Nothing." My son sat there and let some other boys take his comic and rip it up and did nothing. "Why didn't you tell a teacher? Why w

Sunday 11th Sept 2011

I am the Queen of Inappropriate Comments

.....and I wish I could keep my gob shut! My nephew (BB) is currently staying with us, while sis has moved (albeit temporarily) to foreign climes. I have been charged with his development and keeping a check (as mummies do) on his eating habits. BB is 22, and an absolute delight. He has become a role model for our 2 young thugs and a big brother to Mimi.  He is sensitive, polite, respectful, funny and kind and has become my favourite house guest...ever! If my two turn out anything remotely like him I will be absolutely delighted. It is hugely unlikely though, as their mother is continues to tread the boards between inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour most times, while BB's mother appears to have done it all correct as laid down in the "Mummies Handbook" which appears I have never read...or even heard of. I have come to this sudden realisation while sitting down with BB one evening. I am the master of quick quips and he often asks for my response for a witty come

How to prepare them for university....

My friend Marion has three boys.  Marion is organised, practical and runs her own business so she needs to be. Nick, her eldest son is 18, and off to uni this year.  She won't allow him to take a "gap year" this year, knowing that his fees will treble if he went gallivanting. It only seems like yesterday when he was in his short trousers holding the hand of his younger brother on his first day at school and telling him not to cry because he would be there for him. The thing I admire about Marion is her ability to look to the future and be prepared, although she wasn't as foresighted when it came to her husbands infidelity . The thing with Marion is that she is tenacious. She sticks with it....and she stuck with him.  I have to admire her.  I personally, would have kicked him into touch...or kicked him out.  When I asked her why she allowed him to treat her so appallingly she replied "But I love him!"...I really can't argue with that, now can I?  Love i

Why have they changed the school uniform?

Like many, it's time for the kids to go back to school.  Like many, for some very obscure reason, the uniform has changed.  The kids, it seems are happy...they just like buying new things...but FFS I have three of the little darlings!  And I have to start all over again.  No more "hand-me-downs". I can't off load the stuff to friends; I can't give it to the school for re-cycling and it's all still in such good nick! The socks alone cost me £9 a pair (yes, it's a little excessive but they are at a private school and I get a BOGOF!). Finn will be leaving next year to go to "Big School" too, so his hand me downs won't go onto Mimi (and I really can't see her in his shorts!) so it looks like they're going to be relegated to the bin! Bart is starting at "Big School" so he now has a completely new wardrobe. Jude (school gate mum), tells me that the smart new image is to encourage potential parents to send their offspring to t