We all know that personal space is that precious zone that others shouldn't encroach on. Sometimes we allow others in that zone. Sometimes we allow others in to save offending them. Someone that gets up close and personal feels like either we're being threatened or comforted.
The other night I was at a party. There's someone I've met on several occasions, and we've exchanged the usual chit chat, but I don't know her well. Each time, she gets up soooo close that her breast is rubbing against my arm. She talks from the side of her mouth almost like she's whispering secrets. I found myself leaning in closer. She's right in that comfort zone, but it's OK because it makes me like I'm a really good friend each time we meet.
There's another person at the party who also invades my space, but on this occasion I find it really off putting. I move back each time they lean in. I know them well, but they just get too close for comfort and I find myself feeling very uncomfortable. I want to say "Step back...you're in my zone" but they continue to follow until I find my self pressing up against a chair or someone else...I'm invading their zone so step forward into the zone that's become a problem with them almost touching my nose.
My next door neighbour. She invades my space. She cuts holes in the hedges when I'm not looking and each time I go into the garden I can see more holes she's cut through. The hole started off as a little hole and got so large that I had to put a shed in front of it! It's driving me insane. I've no idea why she's doing it, although she has mentioned that she wants the whole hedge down. It's a weird one this, and I don't know how to deal with it. Short of cutting it all back and sticking in a 9 foot fence which will take time, I don't want to feed into this "You cut a bit, I'll stick a another plant in, cut another bit, I'll find a piece of wood to block in the hole!" I'm a little bit over sensitive on this subject. We came home from our anual holiday a couple of years back and they'd taken down a 9ft section of hedging. No discussion, nothing! I told BH he'd better get round their PDQ otherwise the kids might hear some very choice words! So up went the fence which I didn't want in the first place.
So that's boundaries and zones...I suppose one way to get them to back off is to lick their face!
The other night I was at a party. There's someone I've met on several occasions, and we've exchanged the usual chit chat, but I don't know her well. Each time, she gets up soooo close that her breast is rubbing against my arm. She talks from the side of her mouth almost like she's whispering secrets. I found myself leaning in closer. She's right in that comfort zone, but it's OK because it makes me like I'm a really good friend each time we meet.
There's another person at the party who also invades my space, but on this occasion I find it really off putting. I move back each time they lean in. I know them well, but they just get too close for comfort and I find myself feeling very uncomfortable. I want to say "Step back...you're in my zone" but they continue to follow until I find my self pressing up against a chair or someone else...I'm invading their zone so step forward into the zone that's become a problem with them almost touching my nose.
Personal Space Calculator |
My next door neighbour. She invades my space. She cuts holes in the hedges when I'm not looking and each time I go into the garden I can see more holes she's cut through. The hole started off as a little hole and got so large that I had to put a shed in front of it! It's driving me insane. I've no idea why she's doing it, although she has mentioned that she wants the whole hedge down. It's a weird one this, and I don't know how to deal with it. Short of cutting it all back and sticking in a 9 foot fence which will take time, I don't want to feed into this "You cut a bit, I'll stick a another plant in, cut another bit, I'll find a piece of wood to block in the hole!" I'm a little bit over sensitive on this subject. We came home from our anual holiday a couple of years back and they'd taken down a 9ft section of hedging. No discussion, nothing! I told BH he'd better get round their PDQ otherwise the kids might hear some very choice words! So up went the fence which I didn't want in the first place.
So that's boundaries and zones...I suppose one way to get them to back off is to lick their face!
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