Mummy at the School Gate

I check my stats and searches occasionally, just to see where they come from and to see how peeps end up here. Unfortunately, for the  few that probably end up here, probably turn off in disgust when they realise that this isn't a site for "sexy au-pairs" or "dustmen xxx porn" .  I mean...really?  Dustmen porn?  Where do they get the idea that dustmen even have a porn site? I've had searches for school gate porn, mummy porn, garden porn, nude au pairs... funnily enough au pair porn comes out tops!  All you guys out there really do get your rocks off on our au pairs don't you? It happens quite a lot and it makes me wonder what goes through peoples mind when searching for that particular content? Which reminds me of something that someone spoke to me about the other day.  We were all standing around at the school gate gossiping and someone asked how I found my aupair...in how I found her generally. Miriam has gone (weep, weep) but in her place we have

I'm a terrible smoker. Well, not terrible as I'm really quite good at it. In fact I will go so far to say that I'm an expert. And I've loved it. I know, I know.  It's a disgusting habit which is ageing me faster than a fortnight in Spain, but I've loved it.  I've loved every minute of it.  But I know it's time to say goodbye, sayonara, Taraa! You see, we've had a bit of a scare. Bro has cancer.  The stark reality makes you realise life is short enough without poisoning myself and everyone around me.  I didn't make a pact with God...it didn't work before and anyway I'm not about to play the blackmail game.  "If you cure Bro, I'll give up smoking".  Nahhh, that isn't me. And I'm not pretending to do it for Bro.  I'm doing it for myself.  Bro is giving up too, which is a positive move. Maybe a bit like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted but who am I to criticise?   The cancer is about Bro.  The sm

I have a cleaner.  Not a very good one, but she's ever so nice.  She took early retirement from her (real) job and thought "I'll do some cleaning.  It can't be that difficult...I do my own!" I probably should've gone and looked at her house before I said yes.  I can do my own but I'm not very good at it.  Anyway, like I said...she's not that good, but I wanted someone to come on a Friday to make it all nice for the weekend.  I wanted it all spick and span. I wanted to smell the polish as I came through the door and I wanted it to last until the next week. Obviously my expectations are too high.  She doesn't like my Dyson and doesn't like cleaning under the sofa...I have to do that. She doesn't like spiders (OK, I do) and I hate anyone squashing them so I go around the homestead trying to find the little critters in case she leaves! She won't pick up anything from the floor but will maneuver her vacuum around them.  But she's very